Freemasons Open House in Pittsburgh

by Adam Reger

I am deeply regretful that I will not be able to go to this Freemasons open house this weekend, and am jealous of anyone who is able to go.

Compounding that regret is this tantalizing quote from Mike Marcus, one of the members: “There is always an interest in boosting membership numbers, but we’re not opening our doors only to try to sign people up.”

Always an interest in boosting membership. Only to try to sign people up. Implying that, yes, they are trying to sign people up! Suggesting that I could go to this thing (if I were not heading out of town for a sure-to-be-raucous Reger Family Reunion) and come out some hours later an initiate into the secrets of the Free and Accepted Masons. Oh, cruel and fickle fate. Oh, teasing cosmos. Going out of town while this is going on could be my biggest regret since I had class while my friends were initiated into the Braddock Elks Lodge. Why didn’t I ditch that day? Why? I still don’t know.